Lyrics

Back in the day, there was food and we ate it.
Our only concern was that we were sated.
Where did it come from? We didn’t care.
We carelessly gorged on whatever was there.

Meat and potatoes, potatoes and meat,
burgers and fries, were what we would eat.
Our diet was simple and ruled by expedience,
and we never bothered to read the ingredients.

Milk was just milk, no ifs, ands, or buts.
It was not made from soybeans or nuts.
If you wanted cheese, the choices were this:
American, cheddar, Velveeta, or Swiss.

But now our diets are much more confusing.
There are so many options that we can be choosing.
Our menus now feature the power of veto.
Is it macrobiotic, raw food, or keto?

Paleo, vegan, or pescatarian?
Is it ovo-lacto-vegetarian?
Non-dairy, fruitarian, or gluten-free?
A diet for every idiosyncrasy.

From Scarsdale to South Beach to Beverly Hills,
there is a diet to cure all your ills.
Mediterranean, Pritikin, Atkins,
and diets much higher in fiber than napkins.

Fair trade, unprocessed, and locally sourced.
Non-GMO, organic of course.
Superfood supplements, juicing, and fasting
hold out the promise of life everlasting.

Avoid carbohydrates, proteins, and lipids.
Eschew your food and keep it insipid.
They used to say that you are what you eat.
If we eat vegetables, are we not meat?

Listen to the borborygmi of our stomachs rumbling,
While we are trying to tighten our belts.
Everything has to be high in something
or else it is low in something else.